If you’re a frequent visitor to my online sacred temple, then I’m sure you know how much I’m into self-love, sensuality and sacred rituals as tools for healing the body, mind, heart and soul. There’s just something so beautiful and Divine about making every moment feel more indulgent, nourishing and blissful! It’s safe to say that I’m in love with self-love and sacred rituals as a way to embody and express that ever-present, always flowing source of LOVE.
Before including self-love and sacred, self-care rituals into my life, I always felt like something was off–as if something was missing. What was missing in my life was so many different things, yet all the same thing at once. Sacredness–both in the small and large moments of my life, whether exciting or mundane. Celebration, honoring, blessing and deep, trusting connection to The Divine and mother earth. A healing, uplifting, blissful relationship with myself and my body. Self-love. Authenticity and truthful, aligned action in a feminine, yet empowering way. Creativity and my sexual, sensual energy (Shakti–life-force energy) and an open, balanced Sacral Chakra.
All of this was “missing,” except that it really wasn’t missing. It was all there within me–the healing, potent medicine of my feminine, Divine and sacred energy. It was always there, but over time I had forgotten it. I had shut myself down and cut myself off from my own natural essence, my own sacred, feminine energy. My own Divine truth.
The beautiful, not to mention reassuring, thing about this is that no matter how lost, confused, alone or cut off you feel from this source or energy, there is always a way to tap back into it. To embrace and embody it. To welcome yourself back home to your body and your own self-love and Sensual Divinity.
Love is in an infinite, over-flowing, abundant and renewable source. You can never run out, only over-flow with it. Love is the sweet nectar that circulates and flows throughout the sacred vessel that is your body.
I’ve noticed that a lot of people confuse sacred self-love with narcissism, which simply isn’t true. Loving yourself wholly and completely–shadows, flaws and all–is extremely courageous and healing. It requires a lot of strength and patience as you come face to face with your inner demons and shadows through self-love work. Self-love is a life-long journey and conscious path that needs dedication and honoring. While this can be a challenging path to dance along, it’s both fulfilling and deeply rewarding.
I know that a lot of women struggle with truly loving themselves, especially when it comes to embodying, embracing and completely LOVING the shadows, demons and wounds that we all carry within us. The difference between ignoring self-love and diving headfirst into it passionately is the willingness to accept the darkness and flaws that normally lurk in the shadowy corners within our hearts and minds.
Just like with our emotions, we must have a love affair with our shadows. We must hunt them down fiercely and instead of shooting them with a bitter, hateful arrow, we must channel nothing but pure love towards them. We must consume them and allow the brilliant light of our loving hearts to penetrate the shadows and seduce them out into the light for acknowledgement, acceptance and healing.
We can’t ignore ourselves anymore, sensual woman. I’m here to share something amazing with you. This is a self-love practice that I’ve ritualized, and through my dedication to this sacred ritual, I’ve experienced profound acceptance and healing when it comes to loving my entire Self (the dark and the light). Are you ready to awaken your inner self-love source?!
Self-Love Ritual: Be Your Own Lover
Mmmm yessss. Being your own lover is a truly indulgent, luxurious and sensual experience. Let’s begin!
IMAGINE YOUR IDEAL LOVER: What is your ideal lover like? How do they make you feel? How do you want them to make you feel, most importantly? What kinds of things do they do for–or to–you? What would you desire when it comes to a lover or how you feel when engaging with them?
Write down whatever naturally comes to mind for you and don’t hold back. Let it flow and embrace whatever comes out. It’s essential to really tap into how we feel and what we desire when it comes to a lover.
EMBODY YOUR IDEAL LOVER: Now that you know how you want to feel and what you desire in a lover, begin embodying this ideal lover in yourself! Yes, that’s right! When we seek for external sources, whether it’s a material thing or a person, it’s important to first embody the qualities and feelings within ourselves. Why is this important? Being on this journey of loving yourself, you’ll realize that everything is always within you. The medicine is within you. When we seek for fulfillment, embodiment and enlightenment outside of ourselves, we will never truly be aligned with our authentic, Divine truth.
For more information and inspiration on embodying what’s already within you, check out this post (I made a video on embodiment–that’s how essential it is!)
If you want your ideal lover to surprise you with a fresh bouquet of flowers, do that for yourself. Go to the market and buy yourself the most beautiful bunch of flowers (I love buying myself roses–this is a ritual I do very often) or a single rose and build an altar around the vase to really honor your sacred feminine and loving energy.
Would your ideal lover buy you chocolates? Spend a night in and craft some healing, medicinal, love-infused, homemade chocolates! Whisper your loving intentions into the chocolates as you mix the ingredients. Then, take your time to indulgently and sensually eat a chocolate. Seduce yourself with it just like a lover might. Don’t be afraid to get messy and sexual, that’s part of the fun! This makes it much more pleasurable and that’s the point.
Engage in a self-pleasure ritual as often as you can. I’m sure when you’re in a relationship or with a lover, you probably spend a great deal of time in the throes of passion and pleasure. It’s just as important to cultivate self-pleasure through self-love and sexual healing. So when you’re feeling aroused and your senses are awakened and tingling, spend some time rolling around by yourself in sexual ecstasy. If having a self-pleasure ritual is a new concept to you, start here.
I’m really curious–what would your ideal lover do for you? How would they make you feel? Share this below in the comments with me!
P.S. I created a sacred space for us to all gather and share with one another on Facebook called the Sensually Embodied Woman Sisterhood. Sign up for my weekly email love notes and receive access to the sisterhood (along with some other amazing goodies) here!
P.P.S Are you truly ready to dive deep into self-love and healing the relationship with your body, mind, heart and soul along with tapping into your pleasure, bliss and passion? If so, I have a few spots open right now, so schedule your complimentary Sensual Embodiment Session! This is a 30-minute chat all about YOU and your needs, dreams, intentions and wildest desires! Schedule yours here.
xx
“I’ve noticed that a lot of people confuse sacred self-love with narcissism, which simply isn’t true.”
For serious. I’ve been told this about “standard” self-love. As in, it’s narcissistic and totally selfish to get your hair done just because it makes you feel good.
If I could teach the world just one thing, it would be that self-love isn’t just OKAY, it’s necessary!
Katie, you are so right! Self-love is the most beautiful gift you can give to yourself. If we all loved ourselves a little bit more, I’m positive that women (and men!) would all be more empowered, healthy and embodied in their own sensual and sexual nature.
XX, Amber