I think one of the deepest things a woman will ever crave is to fully surrender to her partner sexually.
To be cracked open on a deeper, more profound level in her heart than she could have ever imagined.
To feel her own radiance spilling over into her lover’s heart as she is softening and melting into a space of true and total surrender.
To feel SEEN, held and penetrated to her core.
This is definitely how I feel. I need someone who can meet that craving of letting me surrender sexually.
I always have, but I didn’t know for about 25 years of my life (I’m now 26) that it was what I was truly craving…needing…longing for…lusting after.
When I meet a man in my life I have to admit that I size him up at first.
How deeply do I think this man can take me?
Does he look capable of taking me there to the edge and depth of surrender?
Do I think he is willing to handle my wild emotions, intimate erotic nature and source of holy love?
This can’t really be answered upon first meeting someone. I learned this after my last relationship where I completely misjudged him.
I never thought in a million years he could show me how to surrender. To open me fully. I didn’t get that vibe from him because my heart was so shut down and my pussy was just as closed down.
When we open and surrender, we open to the flow of love, trust and orgasmic pleasure beyond our wildest dreams.
Maybe you don’t ponder these questions upon meeting someone or even in your current relationship. After all, there’s a pretty big reason for that, which is part of what I cover in my latest podcast episode.
But I bet deep down if you peel back the ancient layers of disconnection, hurt and feeling closed down in your body and heart, you’ll find that you have a deeper craving…
So my question for you, lover, is this: DO YOU CRAVE TO SURRENDER SEXUALLY?
Allow me to dive deep with you for the next 20-something minutes…
In this podcast episode I share:
- What keeps a woman from fully surrendering to her lover sexually
- What the masculine & feminine both need in order to meet this craving for surrender
- My journey with surrender & how it lead to my first of many vaginal orgasms during sex
- My juiciest & most pleasurable suggestions on how to tap into the art of sexual surrender
Subscribe to the podcast on: | iTunes | Stitcher |Libsyn| Feel free to subscribe, share, leave a review or indulge yourself in previous episodes!
THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
How to Open Your Heart & Pussy (Article)
Why Women Long to Be Fucked Open (Article)
A Sexual Practice to Have Your First (or Best) Orgasm (Video on how the jade egg is a practice of surrender)
For full Jade Egg Resources (articles, podcasts, videos) check it out here.
Secrets of an Orgasmic Woman (Podcast)
If you want to begin or deepen a jade egg practice and open yourself up to the art of sexual surrender, then I invite you to grab a free copy of my jade egg ebook, Awaken Your Erotic Power Using a Jade Egg.
When you sign up, you’ll also get invited to join me in a couple of weeks when I reveal my complimentary jade egg video salon, which is a free 3-part video series that will take you on a journey through the power and beauty of using a jade egg to awaken vaginal pleasure, harness your sexual energy and connect you back to your deeply erotic and highly orgasmic nature as a woman PLUS an exciting and exclusive sneak peek for my email list only!
If you prefer to read rather than listen, you can read the transcript below:
My question for you today, which I invite you to sink deep into your heart and hips to answer honestly, is do you crave to surrender sexually?
Do you crave to show up and be seen, felt into and opened so deeply that you walk away from the experience a new woman?
A woman who is deeply in love with herself, her lover and life itself.
A woman who has softened in between her legs and in her heart.
A woman who glows with radiance because she lets go and allows herself to come undone into the full unknown and the ecstasy of pleasure and love.
A woman who lets her partner into her so deeply and lets them hold space for her fiercely devoted and loving heart, intense emotions and orgasmic pleasure.
This is the woman inside of all of us. This is our potential, if we choose it.
This isn’t so easy for us right now though, which I really do want to acknowledge. A lot of women are running around these days with high-powered corporate careers or successful businesses, having adventures and behaving in a very masculine way because that’s how they’ve have been conditioned to be…just like men.
Going out into the world, doing one thing after another, checking off tasks on her to-do list, basically penetrating the world at large as if she has a cock of her own.
When it comes to masculine and feminine energies, which we all have within us, the masculine penetrates and the feminine receives. When a woman is spending more time penetrating and operating in high masculine mode, she loses the connection to her feminine energy and her ability to fully surrender so deeply within herself and most definitely with her partner sexually.
Obviously there are times where every person needs to be in masculine energy to get things done so they can live more fulfilling lives and this does not mean every woman resides primarily in her feminine nor does every man reside naturally in his masculine.
Women are highly ambitious nowadays and may have jobs, careers or a business along with children, a family and a partner to tend to among her hobbies, interests, friendships and other passions. That’s all so amazing and we’ve come so far. We deserve those rights and privileges.
But it’s a serious detriment when a woman is stuck in masculine mode and she stops trusting. Stops opening, softening and melting into sweet surrender, especially in sex.
Deep down, you might be craving to surrender sexually. Surender fully. Completely. To be opened.
To be penetrated so deeply through this surrender.
And this doesn’t just mean sexually penetrated by a man’s cock. None of this is limited to heterosexual relationships.
Women want to surrender sexually but also in their hearts, because there is a deep and sacred connection between the openness in our hearts and in our pussies.
There is a deeply rooted fear that women carry, though, when it comes to surrender.
Women are afraid that men or their masculine partner won’t be able to handle their wild emotions or intensity. Or their full-blown pleasure, sexual energy and orgasmic potential. I assure you, the masculine, whether your masculine partner is a man or woman, can and will handle you.
We’re afraid that if we surrender fully, we’ll never be able to come back from that spell of true trust and letting go, which can be scary. In that surrender, we share a part of ourselves so deep and so potentially wounded from childhood events, allowing it to come into the light and be healed through the medicine of sex and devoted love.
Surrender leads to deeper orgasms, which can be scary for women who’ve never fully let go in their lives and loosened or completely removed their grip on the reigns of control.
After all, what’s on the other side of that cataclysmic orgasm that shatters the illusions and perhaps the limitations we’ve placed on our body’s pleasure capacity?
Here’s what is on the other side, which is usually why we fear it: Our innate truth. The unknown. Lack of control. Deeper pleasure than our bodies have ever experienced before.
Deeper love than our hearts have ever experienced before. True connection, union and a sense of Oneness with All That Is and the one we love.
What if we surrender and get hurt?
What if our partner sees our deepest wound in that surrender and they abandon us?
What if they can’t handle our erotic power, wild emotions, intensity or pulsing sexual energy? What if they can’t hold us the way we need to fully surrender safely and open so deeply?
We feel like if we stay alert, at least somewhat, if not fully, that we can stay in control and not risk ourselves. Not risk getting hurt.
Or opened deeper than we’re comfortable with based on contracts and beliefs we’ve carried in our psyches and bodies since childhood. These contracts and beliefs once kept us safe, but now they are barriers in front of our hearts and in between our legs.
I’d love to share a bit of a personal story with you so you can understand how deeply important and truly life-changing surrender is.
I’ve shared in several of my podcast episodes and videos about how I’ve been able to experience orgasms from the age of 2. I could have clitoral orgasms for years and once I started using my jade egg and crystal wands, I was able to move into vaginal orgasms alone. But it wasn’t until my most recent relationship this year that I was able to experience my first orgasm with a man during intercourse.
He was the first partner I felt truly safe with to surrender to.
A lot of what I’ve been sharing with you and will share in a while is what helped me receive all of that, but I can tell you that if I don’t feel safe with a man, then a vaginal orgasm will most likely not happen for me and I know that a lot of women, maybe you too, resonate with that.
I had a fiance a few years ago and I couldn’t even gather the courage to tell him that I wasn’t satisfied sexually, emotionally or spiritually during sex. I couldn’t pleasure myself in front of him, I did it in hiding and then I felt guilty afterwards, which made me feel even worse.
Being with a partner or lover who is willing to go there with you is just as important as you doing the inner work on yourself. You need someone who will meet you there. By having an intimate and courageous conversation with your partner it will allow you to ask for the space and safety you need in order to fully let go and surrender.
Once I felt safe and had my first vaginal orgasm during intercourse with my last partner, they just kept rolling in more easily and our sex quickly became ecstatic for me.
I was able to move deeper into my self-pleasure sessions too, which allowed me to begin experiencing better g-spot orgasms and deep cervical orgasms that opened my heart and pussy even more. This brings me into an another question.
What does a masculine partner need from us in order to create this sacred space of safety, which is the container for us to unfold and truly surrender?
TRUST.
The masculine needs to know that the feminine trusts them. The masculine is about presence, holding space, witnessing the feminine and consciousness. If we don’t trust the masculine, then they’ll know that and the container or boundary with which we can come undone is not as solid.
There needs to be mutual trust, at least at the most basic and foundational level. When you attack your partner, accuse them or one or both of you acts out of integrity, that breaks trust and starts a vicious cycle which ultimately prevents you from feeling safe, witnessed, SEEN and able to deeply surrender sexually. Or even able to surrender your heart to them fully, which goes hand in hand with true sexual surrender.
Before we get into surrender, we need to look at our levels of intimacy, with ourselves first and with our partners or lovers. How intimately do you know yourself? Your lover or partner?
We need to examine how open our bodies feel in day to day life. How open does your heart feel? Your pussy? Your throat and lungs? Your hips? The rest of your body? Do you have space inside to expand and open rather than close and contract?
Then, we need to look at where we stand with safety and trust, especially with the lover or partner we’re with and with ourselves.
What does the feminine need in order to sexually surrender to her masculine partner?
To feel safe, to trust and to feel deeply connected and heart-centered with her partner before. She needs to feel SEEN, heard and felt into on a body, heart and soul level.
By the way, if you’re single and reading this ALL of it can be applied to you and the relationship you share with yourself. I’m currently single and I use these concepts daily to surrender to myself sexually and I also used them in my last relationship and will continue to in the next one I enter into.
Now let’s get into the deeper work we need to be doing in order to meet this craving we have and fully surrender sexually, whether it’s with ourselves or with a lover.
How to surrender deeply?
- Work on opening your heart & pussy. I wrote two articles that I’m going to link where you can get more on that titled Why Women Long to Be Fucked Open and another article titled How to Open Your Heart & Pussy. I share several rituals in that post that are amazing for opening yourself up in your heart space and your pussy.
- Become an offering & devotion to LOVE. I mentioned this briefly in my last podcast episode Secrets of an Orgasmic Woman. This is really a mindset and a way of BEING that you can adopt. It’s also an act of surrender in itself. Choosing in the moment, especially in moments where you want to close down and hide or freeze entirely or leave your body, to instead of close down and hide your radiance, you instead open, soften and offer yourself. This is why I love David Deida’s work so much because he often talks about how women respond to presence from the masculine by opening even more. It might seem very spiritual or hard to wrap your mind around, but it’s really an embodiment practice of each day becoming an offering and devotion of love to everyone and everything. I invite you to apply this to your daily life. Practice offering yourself as love to love in the name of love each day and see how open your heart AND your pussy feel.
- Use a jade egg. Oh yes! I’m once again recommending this sacred sexual tool. I pretty much always do. WHY is this so important? If you really want to surrender sexually, you’ll want to train your heart and pussy to open fully. The jade egg is a practice of trust, safety and surrender.I never expected that when I started using the jade egg, but it opened me deeper than I could have ever imagined. And I had a very tight, closed down heart and pussy. I could barely get a finger in there and as for my heart, I could barely let someone love me. I mean truly, fully love me.I have a ton of resources, including my jade egg ebook and a brand new video series coming out soon that you can access to learn more about how the jade egg is a practice of surrender.
- Breathe deeply and fully, especially into your pussy. There’s so many reasons for this, but first off it retrains your nervous system and rewires your brain to trust and feel safe in your body and your pussy again. It’s very common for us to breathe very quickly and in a shallow manner, where the breath barely even fills our lungs completely.So much space is created in the body, heart and yes, our pussies, when we breathe fully from our lungs, hearts, belly, hips and down into our entire pelvis. What happens when we breathe deeper and more expansively is that we begin to feel more.More pleasure. More space. More emotions. More spots in our bodies where things are hiding that we don’t want to face, whether it be grief, rage, stuck sexual energy or a childhood wound or trauma.In order to open and surrender fully, we’ve got to create space for openness in our bodies and that means breathing more deeply and fully, especially into the region of our body that houses the most trauma, pain, numbness or shame. Your pussy.
- Practice Mirror Work to build intimacy with yourself first. This is a practice I do usually for ten minutes daily in the morning. You can start with 2-5 minutes a day of I AM statements like I AM BEAUTIFUL. I AM ALIVE. I AM RESILIENT.I also find that mirror work is powerful for declaring fears, feelings and emotions like I am angry. I am jealous. I feel stuck. I am afraid. It creates an honesty and intimacy with yourself that is truly sustainable and the foundation for self-trust and the more we trust ourselves, the more we trust what comes into our physical space, including our lover.
- Create a container for surrender. This is about creating a time and space with the intention to surrender. If you’re going solo, this might look like picking a time and date, arranging your bedroom to feel sensual and safe and then giving yourself a good chunk of time to unfold in your self-pleasure session. You can even set a timer if it helps.When it comes to relationships, this might mean discussing boundaries with your partner beforehand along with creating time and space like mentioned before. It might mean asking your partner to do something specific like just hold you close when emotions come up or to give you a little space to integrate afterwards.This concept of scheduling sex or self-pleasure might seem really unsexy, but it actually builds anticipation and excitement!
- Eye gazing. Eye gazing is a Tantric practice that can build intimacy in such a vulnerable way. Allowing someone to gaze into your eyes, which are often portrayed as the windows to the soul, and actually SEE you, is one of the most intimate, vulnerable forms of surrender.You can sit cross-legged in front of your partner and set a timer for five minutes to start and just gaze into one another’s eyes. Usually you can gaze into each other’s non-dominant eye so if you’re right handed, then your left eye is your non-dominant eye and vice versa.Practice breathing deeply, especially into your belly and pussy as you connect. See the innocence and divinity in your partner and feel them seeing that in you, witnessing that in you. It’s common to feel silly or weird, but just keep returning to the gaze. You can also place a hand on one another’s hearts to build more intimacy or just place your palms in theirs.
- Breathing together with your partner. This ties into several things I’ve mentioned already, but breathing deeply into your bellies and genitals together in sync will harmonize your energies and strengthen the connection and intimacy, which creates safety and trust making it easier for you to open and surrender parts of yourselves to one another.
- Tell them that you’re craving to surrender and how you want it to feel. This you can do with yourself in the mirror, but it’s important to do with a lover. Telling them that you actually crave that surrender or a deeper level of surrender if you already feel pretty open and surrendered.Go a step further and describe how you want that to feel. Does it feel like unwavering soul connection? Penetration to your core? Does it make you wet? Does it make you feel seen? How would it feel?
- Practice surrendering once a day. This could be using your jade egg, taking a deep breath instead of freaking out, choosing to walk away from an argument peacefully or smiling at someone instead of having road rage.What is your form of surrender for today?
As always, it’s such a pleasure to open up a conversation around love, sex and the depth and beauty that is found in erotic love.
You’re invited to come into my private Facebook group for women the Sensually Embodied Woman Sisterhood to continue this conversation. Come in and let us know what your relationship with surrender is like and which of these suggestions I’ve offered to you feels like a good next step for you.
Have a beautiful day filled with erotic love, devotion and surrender.
xx
Amber